Buckle Down, Girl

Christmas was full of simplicity and beauty this year. Mother nature blessed us and served up one of Seattle’s signature bright sunny days. The air was crisp and cool, the piercing blue sky above, and not a drop of rain to be found.

This was our first year together when we didn’t exchange gifts, not even a card went out, not to anyone. I don’t know how to explain it other than to say it just didn’t seem to matter this year. Maybe we had been through too much and trying to put significance behind gifts and cards just didn’t add up.

And something really interesting happened. I ended up feeling like I was surrounded by abundance, swimming in it even.

Nobody around, no commercialism-hype and yet everything felt full.

We didn’t end up doing a whole lot over the course of the three-day weekend: a handful of projects around the house and building. Adam had a pretty major breakthrough on one of our past screenplays. It’s been on the market for most of 2006 without any major bites and he unlocked some back-story ‘contexty’ goodness that will really help add sustenance.

One night his fingers got moving on the laptop as he was inserting notes into the script and it was so good to hear the apartment fill with the sounds of his keystrokes.

Outside of that, though, not a whole lot of work happened over the weekend. I barely touched the show, although I did dream about it here and there. I didn’t read and update Modern Wreckage either.

Modern Wreckage is our baby, our first feature. It’s a good little low budget indie: small cast, small set, good characters and dialogue. But there is an element that runs the entirety of the story that reeks of an amateur.

The unfortunate thing about it is it reads like a first feature.

And we’ve worked that project to death. It’s the story we taught ourselves structure with. There’s a big part of me that wants to just let it go, let it sit on the shelf and rest in peace.

But this nagging voice inside tells me that if I would just take one more pass at it and replace that one freshman element, it would sell and I could truly set those characters free.

I think I’ll read it tonight and take a look at it. It’s been a long time since I’ve even read it.

However, before playing with my filmic narratives, I’ve got far bigger fish to fry.

This morning the rain returned.

As if God was saying, “Snap to it boys and girls, time to get back to the grind.”

I’m full, really full. My round belly swollen, replacing its ‘pro-juice’ flattened predecessor. I’m feeling a little sluggish, but I equate it to the literal fact that my body is back to digesting again.

I’m excited about the work ahead of me. It’s a lot, a huge under-taking and when the package itself is ready, I’ll be walking it into a space that I’ve never gone before.

It’s a great end to this year and a great beginning to the next.

I aim to slim things down consumption-wise again for the next few weeks as I plow through the trenches. I was working really well that way; my mind and body both responded well. I’m not talking a return to the full fast, but I think I’ll keep a juice a day in the mix and surround that by yogurt, fruits and veggies, and fresh bread, salads and soups.

Yoga and chanting have got to find their ways into the mix. That’s the one key ingredient that I have to, have to, incorporate. I need positive stress-management to support me through this.

This one sells. This one sells.

This one sells because this time I’m not believing in anything less.

I’m actually finding it challenging because I can see this one going so much so that my mind wants to place my reality in a post-sale place, exploring all of the new exciting possibilities that exist there. And I have to reign myself back in.

There are a lot of steps to cover between here and there and it’s all about buckling down and continuing to plow forward.

Each step forward is a bridge to the next.

Now, time to get back to the drawing board. I’ve got a lot of ‘filling in the blanks’ ahead of me.

Lead the way trusty chalk.