Hi everyone!!!
so time is only allowing for me to blog on one site and, for the time being, MySpace wins...
i'll catch this one up -- at some point...
best,
jenna
Friday, March 16, 2007
Friday, March 9, 2007
Universal Health Care if you please
Yesterday I got asked out by another drummer: for those of you keeping score at home – that’s four drummers in two weeks (to clarify – this excludes anyone from the past – I have developed the ability to be a good girl and maintain boundaries with friends and acquaintances. Yes, me of all people, has learned to be respectful and to make healthy decisions).
And setting up my bass lessons down in Fairfax, the bassist says, “Are you sure you’re not a drummer?”
“Why, whattaya mean?”
“Well, for one, your energy is all over the place. And then you’ve got the whole left-brain/right-brain thing….I think maybe your place is behind the skins.”
“Um, yeah, so I kinda have this theory about drummers and that theory goes along the lines of: drummers are fucking crazy.”
He smiled.
“I’d like to stick with the bass.”
------------------------
The biggest revelation that’s came out of the past few days is the fact that I think I may find myself transitioning into a cinematographer.
Think about it:
Cinematographers are the liaisons between the director and the lighting & camera departments. They are the communicators, the composition connoisseurs.
In yesterday’s meeting with the Producer, I was showing him some of my Pioneer Square shots that I thought could pass as London.
“You took all these pictures?”
“Yup.”
I told him my theory on me maybe taking a crack at shadowing a DP at some point…
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
I had an amazing county hospital experience yesterday. What a ride. What a range of emotions. What a blatant demonstration and reminder of why I swore I would never buy a piece of property in this country.
I
Can’t
Wait
To
Get
To
Europe.
And, lucky me: London’s calling.
And setting up my bass lessons down in Fairfax, the bassist says, “Are you sure you’re not a drummer?”
“Why, whattaya mean?”
“Well, for one, your energy is all over the place. And then you’ve got the whole left-brain/right-brain thing….I think maybe your place is behind the skins.”
“Um, yeah, so I kinda have this theory about drummers and that theory goes along the lines of: drummers are fucking crazy.”
He smiled.
“I’d like to stick with the bass.”
------------------------
The biggest revelation that’s came out of the past few days is the fact that I think I may find myself transitioning into a cinematographer.
Think about it:
Cinematographers are the liaisons between the director and the lighting & camera departments. They are the communicators, the composition connoisseurs.
In yesterday’s meeting with the Producer, I was showing him some of my Pioneer Square shots that I thought could pass as London.
“You took all these pictures?”
“Yup.”
I told him my theory on me maybe taking a crack at shadowing a DP at some point…
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
I had an amazing county hospital experience yesterday. What a ride. What a range of emotions. What a blatant demonstration and reminder of why I swore I would never buy a piece of property in this country.
I
Can’t
Wait
To
Get
To
Europe.
And, lucky me: London’s calling.
Thursday, March 8, 2007
The blood of filmmakers
I realized something lately. I realized that the people I relate most to, the people that I feel most comfortable around; the people that I am insanely attracted to are the crazy artists.
Filmmakers.
Musicians. (especially drummers – damn them and their rhythmic tendencies…)
Painters.
Photographers.
Actors.
Visual Artists.
Tattoo Artists.
Adam said it best the other day, “Face it, you’re always gonna be attracted to the fidgety geniuses.”
I – fucking – love – artists.
------------------------------
The last time I was producing for film, I thought I would never be able to enjoy watching a movie – ever – again.
I lost my ability to sit back and enjoy watching a film. My detail-oriented mind was too busy processing what was going on behind the scenes, behind the camera. I saw the continuity issues everywhere, mismatched props and lines that were 1/10th of a second out of sync with the print.
I saw the extras and the PAs. I saw the always-disappointing craft services. I saw the long production days and all the shots that were lost due to time, due to lighting, due to budget.
I saw the everyday process that is entering the thinktank and trying to figure out how to salvage the beautiful story that’s trying to unfold.
I saw, everyday, walking into an amazing adventure. Everyday on set is full of unlimited possibilities, crazy encounters.
I saw the masterful art that is the collaborative climactic chaos of filmmaking.
I love being on a film set: the charge, the excitement, the whole “capturing what feels real, what feels present.”
I love making it happen.
I can’t wait to be on set again.
What can I say?
Filmmaking is in my blood and my veins are:
pumping, pulsating and thirsty.
--------------------------------
On the side:
Speaking of pumping, pulsating and thirsty:
It comes as no surprise that I scared off the ridiculously cute ex-mormon writer/religious studies virgo boy from the san fran trip. He’s 24 and full of artsy-angst.. We met on the flight and then ended up sitting right next to each other on the 45 minute BART-ride.
We talked empirical fall-out and the abolishment of religion.
He asked me out.
“Do you know that with all the 30 to 35-year-olds that I’m head over heels for right now, you’re the first boy who’s had the courage to ask me out?”
He smiled wide.
“Is that a yes?”
“That is most definitely a yes.”
We agreed to coffee at SFO before the return flight. I arrived on crutches and he helped me navigate and we had stellas.
We agreed to a second date this week and then I had to open my mouth. I had to use my words and using my words gets me into trouble.
“So you’re a virgo and an ex-mormon…I’m guessing that means you’ve got a lot of pent-up sexual energy that needs releasing.”
He swallowed. Hard.
“Sorry. I’ve been accused of coming on a bit strong lately.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry. Still wanna go out again?”
His smile morphed into a sly smirk and he slowly nodded yes.
“Attaya boy.”
(He hasn’t called.)
Damn.
Damn.
Damn.
------------------------------
Speaking of blood:
I’ve gotta hit up the hospital tonight – it simply has to happen.
I’ve been really good about listening to signs lately and in the past couple days, I’ve had 5 different people tell me that the whole bruising and swelling migrating up to my knee is indicative of blood clotting and that, in severe cases, I could be at risk of a stroke.
And if my blood is clotting, I need to know as I’m getting a lot of tattoo work done right now. So. After today’s meeting, a cab ride up to Harborview has gotta happen: nothing says kickin’ Thursday night quite like a county emergency waiting room.
Nice.
--------------------------------
Speaking of meetings:
I’m four hours away from the follow-up with the Producer and, for the life of me, I can’t seem to find my notebook from the meeting with Original Writer. I think I might’ve left it in Fairfax.
Son
Of
A
Bitch.
Oh well. I don’t really need it anyway – I can remember most of it…I think.
--------------------------------
Speaking of Fairfax:
Thanks to Dave for letting me interrupt his work-day so that I could get the naked “blood & ink” iPhoto CD out of this damnable laptop = that’s a BAD Cilantro.
Lesson learned: no more naked pix on the laptop. Period.
---------------------------
Lastly:
Thanks to 303 for the movie last night. We may not have watched much of it, but it was exactly what the doctor ordered.
And, truly, thanks for the pitch deadline.
That is the one thing that I really
Have
To
Make
Happen.
------------------------------
Filmmakers.
Musicians. (especially drummers – damn them and their rhythmic tendencies…)
Painters.
Photographers.
Actors.
Visual Artists.
Tattoo Artists.
Adam said it best the other day, “Face it, you’re always gonna be attracted to the fidgety geniuses.”
I – fucking – love – artists.
------------------------------
The last time I was producing for film, I thought I would never be able to enjoy watching a movie – ever – again.
I lost my ability to sit back and enjoy watching a film. My detail-oriented mind was too busy processing what was going on behind the scenes, behind the camera. I saw the continuity issues everywhere, mismatched props and lines that were 1/10th of a second out of sync with the print.
I saw the extras and the PAs. I saw the always-disappointing craft services. I saw the long production days and all the shots that were lost due to time, due to lighting, due to budget.
I saw the everyday process that is entering the thinktank and trying to figure out how to salvage the beautiful story that’s trying to unfold.
I saw, everyday, walking into an amazing adventure. Everyday on set is full of unlimited possibilities, crazy encounters.
I saw the masterful art that is the collaborative climactic chaos of filmmaking.
I love being on a film set: the charge, the excitement, the whole “capturing what feels real, what feels present.”
I love making it happen.
I can’t wait to be on set again.
What can I say?
Filmmaking is in my blood and my veins are:
pumping, pulsating and thirsty.
--------------------------------
On the side:
Speaking of pumping, pulsating and thirsty:
It comes as no surprise that I scared off the ridiculously cute ex-mormon writer/religious studies virgo boy from the san fran trip. He’s 24 and full of artsy-angst.. We met on the flight and then ended up sitting right next to each other on the 45 minute BART-ride.
We talked empirical fall-out and the abolishment of religion.
He asked me out.
“Do you know that with all the 30 to 35-year-olds that I’m head over heels for right now, you’re the first boy who’s had the courage to ask me out?”
He smiled wide.
“Is that a yes?”
“That is most definitely a yes.”
We agreed to coffee at SFO before the return flight. I arrived on crutches and he helped me navigate and we had stellas.
We agreed to a second date this week and then I had to open my mouth. I had to use my words and using my words gets me into trouble.
“So you’re a virgo and an ex-mormon…I’m guessing that means you’ve got a lot of pent-up sexual energy that needs releasing.”
He swallowed. Hard.
“Sorry. I’ve been accused of coming on a bit strong lately.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry. Still wanna go out again?”
His smile morphed into a sly smirk and he slowly nodded yes.
“Attaya boy.”
(He hasn’t called.)
Damn.
Damn.
Damn.
------------------------------
Speaking of blood:
I’ve gotta hit up the hospital tonight – it simply has to happen.
I’ve been really good about listening to signs lately and in the past couple days, I’ve had 5 different people tell me that the whole bruising and swelling migrating up to my knee is indicative of blood clotting and that, in severe cases, I could be at risk of a stroke.
And if my blood is clotting, I need to know as I’m getting a lot of tattoo work done right now. So. After today’s meeting, a cab ride up to Harborview has gotta happen: nothing says kickin’ Thursday night quite like a county emergency waiting room.
Nice.
--------------------------------
Speaking of meetings:
I’m four hours away from the follow-up with the Producer and, for the life of me, I can’t seem to find my notebook from the meeting with Original Writer. I think I might’ve left it in Fairfax.
Son
Of
A
Bitch.
Oh well. I don’t really need it anyway – I can remember most of it…I think.
--------------------------------
Speaking of Fairfax:
Thanks to Dave for letting me interrupt his work-day so that I could get the naked “blood & ink” iPhoto CD out of this damnable laptop = that’s a BAD Cilantro.
Lesson learned: no more naked pix on the laptop. Period.
---------------------------
Lastly:
Thanks to 303 for the movie last night. We may not have watched much of it, but it was exactly what the doctor ordered.
And, truly, thanks for the pitch deadline.
That is the one thing that I really
Have
To
Make
Happen.
------------------------------
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Mobility if you please
It’s decided: I’m not getting out of my pajamas today.
Fuck it.
I can’t very easily leave the house anyway.
There’s that word: house. Yes, the house. What to do about the house?
Yesterday, I found my house. It’s perfect. It’s so me, it’s ridiculous. It’s mine if I want it. I have to decide w/in the next four hours.
The house is in Fairfax, CA, a sleepy little hippie town that’s an easy 30-minute commute into the city (San Francisco). It’s two blocks down from my friends/family.
I had one of the best weekends of my life. It was glorious.
But do I commit to a rent of this magnitude?
Am I jumping the gun?
Am I resisting if I don’t go for it?
------------------
As a fun & added bonus, I’m on crutches now.
I need to stop moving now.
I need to get centered now.
I need to take care of myself now.
I need to write this TV pitch now.
I’m meeting with (new feature) Producer on thurs to download everything from meeting with Original Writer.
I have a huge series of calls on the TV Show this week: huge calls.
I have a photo shoot for MoveOn on Wednesday.
After a few days of over-exertion on a sprained ankle topped off with a not-exactly-easy travel day, I can barely stand up on my own.
Hmmm, how am I going to hold onto my camera? Damn it. I need to get a higher res camera.
---------------------
Oooh!!! So I do have to leave the house today: new Air & Arcade fire. Sorry foot/ankle, it’s just gotta happen.
------------------------------
And then there’s the walking. Walking is a ginormous part of my writing.
Walking is a huge part of my decision making process.
I have to write this pitch this week.
I have to decide on this house today.
And I am immobilized.
--------------------
Clever move, Universe…
Fuck it.
I can’t very easily leave the house anyway.
There’s that word: house. Yes, the house. What to do about the house?
Yesterday, I found my house. It’s perfect. It’s so me, it’s ridiculous. It’s mine if I want it. I have to decide w/in the next four hours.
The house is in Fairfax, CA, a sleepy little hippie town that’s an easy 30-minute commute into the city (San Francisco). It’s two blocks down from my friends/family.
I had one of the best weekends of my life. It was glorious.
But do I commit to a rent of this magnitude?
Am I jumping the gun?
Am I resisting if I don’t go for it?
------------------
As a fun & added bonus, I’m on crutches now.
I need to stop moving now.
I need to get centered now.
I need to take care of myself now.
I need to write this TV pitch now.
I’m meeting with (new feature) Producer on thurs to download everything from meeting with Original Writer.
I have a huge series of calls on the TV Show this week: huge calls.
I have a photo shoot for MoveOn on Wednesday.
After a few days of over-exertion on a sprained ankle topped off with a not-exactly-easy travel day, I can barely stand up on my own.
Hmmm, how am I going to hold onto my camera? Damn it. I need to get a higher res camera.
---------------------
Oooh!!! So I do have to leave the house today: new Air & Arcade fire. Sorry foot/ankle, it’s just gotta happen.
------------------------------
And then there’s the walking. Walking is a ginormous part of my writing.
Walking is a huge part of my decision making process.
I have to write this pitch this week.
I have to decide on this house today.
And I am immobilized.
--------------------
Clever move, Universe…
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Love if you please
This morning as I lie awake and look outside at the rolling northern California hills, I am at peace.
I think of my Writing Partner and how well he’s gonna fit into this project.
I think of how happy I am for him that he’s found his chill Gypsy Traveling Girl.
I think of my Kansas City Boys and how they always make me laugh.
I think of my 303 Ethical Slut Partner in crime & how grateful I am to have found him.
I think of the reconnection with Tattoo Artist & how grateful I am to have found him.
I think of Apple Boy & how much fun we have together.
I think of NY Filmmaker Boy & how grateful I am to have reconnected with him – I can’t wait to be in NY again. I can’t wait to see him again.
I think of my LA Soul Sister & how Joshua Tree is just around the corner.
I think of my North Carolina Parallel Life Path Partner & how he and I are gonna put together one amazing fucking shoot this July.
I think of the Stone Family & how very much I love them.
I think of my amazing Brother, Dad & Mom whom have remained loving & as supportive as they can be as I take this Artist’s Journey.
I think of the reconnection with my cool as hell cousin & how I hope we can unwind in Hawaii together.
I think of my British War Bride & how much she’s taught me about strength & struggle.
I think of my two Amazing Mentors and how blessed I am for their guidance.
I think of my Cape Coral Girl & how I can’t wait to show her the city that saved me.
I think of my Fairfax Family & how our lives have so seamlessly merged.
I think of Seattle, San Francisco, LA, Las Vegas, Nashville, NY, Hawaii…I think of all the travels and all the great people I’m gonna meet along the way.
I think of my photography, my book, bass lessons, creating the tattoo works in preparation for the shoot, the screenplay, the TV show.
I think of my New Sagittarius Writing Partner & how our paths have so easily merged.
I think of the love & joy & bliss that is emanating out of me, that is bleeding out of my soul.
And I smile long and hard.
For, at the moment, I may not have someone as close to me as I’m used to having, but this Saturday morning as I prepare for this meeting, my friends, I am far from alone.
-------------------------
On the side:
I agree with Dave, I don’t think the foot is broken, but I also don’t think I’ll be hiking the mountain tomorrow with him either. Looks like MOMA’s back on – or we’re thinking of a chill picnic somewhere w/the family and photography – sounds perfect.
I can walk, but it’s not with out throbbing, intense pain.
-------------------------
Tonight is “Little Miss Sunshine” with the family. The Academy Award winning Screenwriter of this little jewel just transitioned his working life with that of Pixar…
It just so happens that I happen to have a Pixar connection…
Nice. Nice. Nice.
(This is all good.)
I think of my Writing Partner and how well he’s gonna fit into this project.
I think of how happy I am for him that he’s found his chill Gypsy Traveling Girl.
I think of my Kansas City Boys and how they always make me laugh.
I think of my 303 Ethical Slut Partner in crime & how grateful I am to have found him.
I think of the reconnection with Tattoo Artist & how grateful I am to have found him.
I think of Apple Boy & how much fun we have together.
I think of NY Filmmaker Boy & how grateful I am to have reconnected with him – I can’t wait to be in NY again. I can’t wait to see him again.
I think of my LA Soul Sister & how Joshua Tree is just around the corner.
I think of my North Carolina Parallel Life Path Partner & how he and I are gonna put together one amazing fucking shoot this July.
I think of the Stone Family & how very much I love them.
I think of my amazing Brother, Dad & Mom whom have remained loving & as supportive as they can be as I take this Artist’s Journey.
I think of the reconnection with my cool as hell cousin & how I hope we can unwind in Hawaii together.
I think of my British War Bride & how much she’s taught me about strength & struggle.
I think of my two Amazing Mentors and how blessed I am for their guidance.
I think of my Cape Coral Girl & how I can’t wait to show her the city that saved me.
I think of my Fairfax Family & how our lives have so seamlessly merged.
I think of Seattle, San Francisco, LA, Las Vegas, Nashville, NY, Hawaii…I think of all the travels and all the great people I’m gonna meet along the way.
I think of my photography, my book, bass lessons, creating the tattoo works in preparation for the shoot, the screenplay, the TV show.
I think of my New Sagittarius Writing Partner & how our paths have so easily merged.
I think of the love & joy & bliss that is emanating out of me, that is bleeding out of my soul.
And I smile long and hard.
For, at the moment, I may not have someone as close to me as I’m used to having, but this Saturday morning as I prepare for this meeting, my friends, I am far from alone.
-------------------------
On the side:
I agree with Dave, I don’t think the foot is broken, but I also don’t think I’ll be hiking the mountain tomorrow with him either. Looks like MOMA’s back on – or we’re thinking of a chill picnic somewhere w/the family and photography – sounds perfect.
I can walk, but it’s not with out throbbing, intense pain.
-------------------------
Tonight is “Little Miss Sunshine” with the family. The Academy Award winning Screenwriter of this little jewel just transitioned his working life with that of Pixar…
It just so happens that I happen to have a Pixar connection…
Nice. Nice. Nice.
(This is all good.)
San Francisco if you please
At this moment, I am exactly where I need to be right now…
Intuition told me that the trip down to San Francisco was going to up the frequencies of the synchronicity-laced vibrations…I knew it was only logical…
But I continue to find myself in a state of sheer and utter disbelief regarding the volume and magnitude…
I’d love to relay it all right here, right now…but I’m still processing.
I’m still adjusting.
I’m still trying to breathe.
-----------------
After a killer breakfast with a great friend, I had gone maybe the 100 or so feet from his truck to the check in counter at SeaTac.
I made it that far before the first thing happened.
------------------
And it’s all just so beautiful.
And bittersweet.
I can see so many things right now that are bright & exciting & full of hope & prosperity and then I swing my head & my heart northward to the city I love filled with the people that I love and desire….
And I realize that I am standing in the center of this waterfall…
Alone.
It’s okay to be alone.
An entire year of severe depression taught me what isolation is.
And now I get to see singularity from the complete 180. This is what it’s like to be fully immersed in pure creative pulsating light – alone.
And don’t get me wrong = I love it.
But this uber loving cancer girl who loves to spread the love is looking for someone to share this with…it truly is such an amazing ride.
----------------
There’s much, much more to come – but not tonight. I could easily write for a few hours, but I’ve got to try and get some sleep.
On the side:
The extreme pain in my chest, courtesy of the folks @ Apocalypse, has been replaced by the debilitating pain in my right foot.
“I can’t f@cking believe this. I make it this far and I’m gonna miss the meeting tomorrow b/c we’re gonna have to go to the hospital in the morning b/c my g@d damn foot is broken.”
“I don’t think it’s broken, but I can totally drive you to the meeting tomorrow if you can’t walk on it – all you have to do is make it thru the day.”
-----------------
Here’s to hoping the pain is tolerable enough to make it thru the next 24 hours…
(good time to revert to semi-newfound mantra: i can do this.)
Intuition told me that the trip down to San Francisco was going to up the frequencies of the synchronicity-laced vibrations…I knew it was only logical…
But I continue to find myself in a state of sheer and utter disbelief regarding the volume and magnitude…
I’d love to relay it all right here, right now…but I’m still processing.
I’m still adjusting.
I’m still trying to breathe.
-----------------
After a killer breakfast with a great friend, I had gone maybe the 100 or so feet from his truck to the check in counter at SeaTac.
I made it that far before the first thing happened.
------------------
And it’s all just so beautiful.
And bittersweet.
I can see so many things right now that are bright & exciting & full of hope & prosperity and then I swing my head & my heart northward to the city I love filled with the people that I love and desire….
And I realize that I am standing in the center of this waterfall…
Alone.
It’s okay to be alone.
An entire year of severe depression taught me what isolation is.
And now I get to see singularity from the complete 180. This is what it’s like to be fully immersed in pure creative pulsating light – alone.
And don’t get me wrong = I love it.
But this uber loving cancer girl who loves to spread the love is looking for someone to share this with…it truly is such an amazing ride.
----------------
There’s much, much more to come – but not tonight. I could easily write for a few hours, but I’ve got to try and get some sleep.
On the side:
The extreme pain in my chest, courtesy of the folks @ Apocalypse, has been replaced by the debilitating pain in my right foot.
“I can’t f@cking believe this. I make it this far and I’m gonna miss the meeting tomorrow b/c we’re gonna have to go to the hospital in the morning b/c my g@d damn foot is broken.”
“I don’t think it’s broken, but I can totally drive you to the meeting tomorrow if you can’t walk on it – all you have to do is make it thru the day.”
-----------------
Here’s to hoping the pain is tolerable enough to make it thru the next 24 hours…
(good time to revert to semi-newfound mantra: i can do this.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)