This is What Believing Looks Like

Doubt taps me on the shoulder and whispers in my ear that I’m a fool for thinking things can really be different. “Look at your past experiences. Look at all the failures. What makes you think things are going to be any different this time around?”

When I was younger and less ‘experienced’ with the results of my actions, I followed my beliefs easier. If there was something I wanted, I went after it. I literally couldn’t see the fear or doubt reflected from those around me. I just didn’t see it, because all I could see was what I believed I was about to create for myself.

The things I thought I wanted changed and I interpreted the shifting of my desires as failures of my original goals. But, in fact, in hindsight, I’ve always achieved everything I wanted to try. It’s just that the destinations that I thought would be final opened new doors, leading me in new directions.

With the studying I’ve been doing lately on the relationships between belief and experience, I’ve come to realize that one of my stronger beliefs is that this life is going to be one that’s full of struggle. The artist’s path is one of hardship. This belief has, as all beliefs do, manifested itself into fruition quite successfully.

Another one of my core beliefs that I’ve suckled from quite hungrily for the past couple years is that this physical plane itself is one of suffering. I took solace in this belief, feeling it enabled me reason for my own personal misery. “I’m getting the full experience of this level.”

Time and time again I’ve completed full circle examples, repeated patterns of pain, loss, heart ache, let downs. Cycles birthing cycles birthing cycles. Only I believed that my experiences were cementing my beliefs. Gathering up pebbles of misery to build a mound of proof in my basket of belief.

And then my higher-self taps my other shoulder and says, “Do you remember what it’s like to play?” The channel of my internal playlist flickers to recognition, the one that believes anything is possible. It looks like laughter. It looks like smiles. It looks like coloring and writing and making music. It looks like sharing myself with others. It looks like being the source of my very own present moment. It looks like living.

And I realize that if I’m going to be able to be a successful communicator, a successful artist, a successful creator, than I have to lead by example. I have to live by example. I have to first create my life of living as a pure creative channel; full of bliss and bounty.

And the only thing I have to do in order to create this space for myself is to believe in it. Creating this place in my mind and believing in it (100%; this place allows for no grey areas) will lead to its utmost manifestation on the physical plane. It’s not that I no longer believe that this physical plane isn’t one of suffering. It’s just that I’ve been reminded that my (our) primary goal is to continually try to create a better experience on whatever level I’m (we’re) on.

This is what believing looks like,